Tag Archives: caregivers

How’s YOUR Memory?

If someone in your family has dementia, you might be worried about losing your memory. While there are genetic factors we can’t control, studies now say that exercise and other good habits may protect our ability to remember.


In a recent AARP Magazine article, Lisa Davis (no relation to me) described how she investigated her own troubling lapses of memory. Davis went to Maryland’s Neurology Institute for Brain Health and Fitness, to undergo a comprehensive process now used to assess cognitive health. The brain exam begins with a health history to identify possible sources of past trauma (like concussions) or physical problems  (high cholesterol, for example). From there, the exam moves into cognition tests that require you to complete word lists and solve visual problems.

The final aspect of the health review focuses on fitness. A person must ride a stationary bike while electrodes monitor how well their body pumps blood to the brain. As it turns out, this sort of exercise may be a really effective activity for preventing the advance of Alzheimer’s disease.

Davis cites the work of Dr. Arthur Kramer of the University of Urbana-Champaign whose studies have shown that older adults who walked for 45 minutes, 3 days a week, showed marked improvements on cognitive tests after one year of sustained walking.

In addition to adding this kind of basic exercise program to your life, you may want to consider other strategies suggested by AARP. They include:

  • Learning a new skill  — Have you tried knitting or carpentry? Mastering new ideas helps your brain build cognitive resilience.
  • Getting sleep!! If caregiving responsibilities disrupt your sleep, try to figure out what you can change to get the rest a healthy brain needs. Consider respite care or trading night time roles with another family member so you can restore your cognitive health.
  • Eating better — Focus on green leafy vegetables, fish, nuts and olive oil. Limit refined carbohydrates like bread and starchy snacks.
  • Challenging yourself to memorize things — Try learning the names of trees and flowers in your neighborhood or the top golfers in the U.S. Open. Using your memory skills help you retain them.
  • Learn to meditate — Practicing meditation improves breathing; this reduces stress and increases blood flow to the brain.

Of course, it’s easy enough to read a list of things we ought to do. If you are a caregiver, just keeping up with the demands of daily life might feel like a marathon. But no one else will protect your future health if you don’t do it yourself. Pick one thing in the list above that you’re not currently doing and make an effort to try it three times this week. They say it takes 21 days to establish a new habit. Your future is likely to stretch much longer than that. So why not start preserving cherished memories today?

Should you lie to someone with dementia?

The grinding of teeth had ceased for a month. Mom’s disposition was cheerful and she seemed joyfully alert. Then my sister mentioned she was going on vacation for a week. Suddenly everything changed.


Between the Pond and the Woods

Between the Pond and the Woods

Our mom has always been a very sensitive person. Long before she was diagnosed with dementia, she was deeply influenced by the emotional states of people around her. That trait became more pronounced as her disease progressed. The idea of being left behind by someone she loves now prompts great distress. Her speech is very limited, so she can’t quite express this. But the grinding, the lethargy, the disorientation all increased at exactly the same time that one caregiving daughter left for a well-deserved break.

This scenario might have been easier for my mom if she hadn’t brainwashed us to always tell the truth.  Medical professionals do not disapprove of engaging in “therapeutic lying”. Dr. Charles Atkins, describes this practice as the equivalent of telling a white lie “in the interest of helping or soothing” a person with dementia. Since my mom’s understanding of time and circumstance is already very distorted, a “white lie” about my sister’s absence might have reduced the anxiety she seems to be feeling.

Of course, this is just my interpretation of things. Who really knows what she’s going through? Trying to understand the way my mother sees the world is a bit like imagining how a Martian feels on a visit to Earth. I have no accurate barometer for interpreting Mom’s experience because dementia has made her perceptions so different from my own.

My response to this and all crises is to employ the usual tools for calming her. Hugs, quiet soothing statements, stroking her back. These things settle her down. I’m hoping that soon she’ll forget the whole vacation business. Yet often it seems that the ideas I want her to forget are the only ones she retains. Can’t win. Must try anyway.